Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, uncaring pig.

Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart, he will think nothing of it.

Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

3. You must pray to Teenlopflaphinlakfebfonart five times a day.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.