Cuttiklam is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy unicorn.

Cuttiklam created Europe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Cuttiklam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cuttiklam, it will turn you into a rock.

Cuttiklam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cuttiklam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to turtles while wearing shoes.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Put Cuttiklam first in all things.