Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, proud goose.

Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen created humankind three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Put Vag Fenjabdub Higyimnurlhadbonkjen first in all things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always help great tits in need.