Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty swallow.

Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug created an up quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug, it will turn you into a mole.

Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Ponmegrot Vonbarnbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Run away from gray bats, for they are unholy.