Jadparkwip is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, witless
guinea pig.
Jadparkwip created the Milkyway four million years ago.
If you believe in
Jadparkwip, he will answer your prayers.
If you do not believe in
Jadparkwip, he will send four elephants to rub you out.
Jadparkwip's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.
Jadparkwip's Holy Commandments1. Show mercy to disobedient children.
2. Never eat aubergines.
3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.
4. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.
5. Jadparkwip must be the most important thing in your life.