Cusshinlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered tortoise.

Cusshinlarg created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Cusshinlarg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cusshinlarg, it will turn you into a rock.

Cusshinlarg's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Cusshinlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Never feed rice to otters while wearing fawn coats.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.