Honqueegsit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, narcissistic newt.

Honqueegsit created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Honqueegsit, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Honqueegsit, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Honqueegsit's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Honqueegsit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Honqueegsit first in all things.

2. Hide if six doves approach from the east.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Honqueegsit in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear coats.