Figbinomin Bitrutneg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, thoughtless lion.

Figbinomin Bitrutneg created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figbinomin Bitrutneg, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Figbinomin Bitrutneg, he will turn you into a puffin.

Figbinomin Bitrutneg's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Figbinomin Bitrutneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about chromosomes.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Always obey Figbinomin Bitrutneg's priests.

4. Always help sharks in need.

5. Do not eat turnips.