Quat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, almighty rhinoceros.

Quat created the Sun three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Quat, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Quat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Quat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not take Quat's name in vain.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never paint your chest pink.