Bem is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonourable centaur.

Bem created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Bem, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bem, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bem's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bem on top of all buildings.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Feed all hungry porpoises.