Ortgarvon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, omniscient goose.

Ortgarvon created the Cigar Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgarvon, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ortgarvon, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ortgarvon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ortgarvon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Ortgarvon in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.