Bissveenminbop is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, bad-tempered human.

Bissveenminbop created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissveenminbop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bissveenminbop, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bissveenminbop's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Bissveenminbop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

5. Never eat oranges.