Yoghadwik is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, staggering hummingbird.

Yoghadwik created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yoghadwik, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yoghadwik, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yoghadwik's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Yoghadwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near hamsters while wearing gray kilts and balancing four copper spheres on your legs.

2. Never mention horses.

3. Always obey Yoghadwik's priests.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about gravity near tapirs while wearing brown skirts.