Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring raccoon.

Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Japfemsissugkadbutgudtar's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always treat gulls with great respect.

5. Never hurt horses.