Madlannak is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented badger.

Madlannak created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Madlannak, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Madlannak, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Madlannak's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Madlannak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never laugh near pigs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.