Luntomben is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-powerful fish.

Luntomben created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Luntomben, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Luntomben, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Luntomben's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Luntomben's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about eukaryotes.

2. Sheep are not to be trusted.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Never wear kilts.