Febtaprut is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, witless cobra.

Febtaprut created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febtaprut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Febtaprut, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Febtaprut's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Febtaprut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force near nematodes while wearing black coats and balancing three gold spheres on your chest.

2. Run away from green monkeys, for they are unholy.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.