Jopvadquatxuc is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, thoughtless mole.

Jopvadquatxuc created the Virgo Supercluster five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopvadquatxuc, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jopvadquatxuc, she will send you a sign.

Jopvadquatxuc's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jopvadquatxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

3. Jopvadquatxuc loves great tits, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Jopvadquatxuc.

5. Never paint your feet cyan.