Quartsitflap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ill-tempered crow.

Quartsitflap created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartsitflap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartsitflap, she will cry a lot.

Quartsitflap's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quartsitflap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always obey Quartsitflap's priests.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.