Gudmidlag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome swan.

Gudmidlag created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudmidlag, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gudmidlag, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gudmidlag's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Gudmidlag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.