Stafbogflam is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, grumpy cat.

Stafbogflam created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafbogflam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stafbogflam, he will refuse to believe in you.

Stafbogflam's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Stafbogflam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Always stare at clouds.