Vennarlwat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, thoughtless wombat.

Vennarlwat created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vennarlwat, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vennarlwat, it will cry a lot.

Vennarlwat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vennarlwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about pineapples.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near otters while wearing yellow stockings and balancing nine titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Never hop in the presence of tapirs.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.