Fen Talgaddid is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tiresome monkey.

Fen Talgaddid created the Sol system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fen Talgaddid, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fen Talgaddid, she will send you a sign.

Fen Talgaddid's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Fen Talgaddid's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine iron sculptures of Fen Talgaddid on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed bananas to cats while wearing jumpers.

3. Run away from blue turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always pray immersed in water.