Lagkomgess is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, two-faced
squid.
Lagkomgess created the planet Saturn six trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Lagkomgess, he will grant your every desire.
If you do not believe in
Lagkomgess, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.
Lagkomgess' most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.
Lagkomgess' Holy Commandments1. Show mercy to disobedient children.
2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.
3. Never play with disobedient children.
4. You must pray to Lagkomgess nine times a day.
5. Always wear black.