Rigguptun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, proud weasel.

Rigguptun created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigguptun, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rigguptun, he will turn you into a dog.

Rigguptun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Rigguptun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three manatees approach from the north.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about dark matter near snakes while wearing fawn shirts and balancing five titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Never leap in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing hats.