Lipmablig Govdibfid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, uncaring porpoise.

Lipmablig Govdibfid created tapeworms three million years ago.

If you believe in Lipmablig Govdibfid, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lipmablig Govdibfid, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lipmablig Govdibfid's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Lipmablig Govdibfid's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lipmablig Govdibfid.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing brown skirts and balancing six iron spheres on your feet.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Hide from white geese for they are unholy.