Gesscitwip is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate newt.

Gesscitwip created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesscitwip, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gesscitwip, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Gesscitwip's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gesscitwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.