Ganceptarg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, awe-inspiring spider.

Ganceptarg created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganceptarg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ganceptarg, he will strike you with lightening.

Ganceptarg's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Ganceptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Ganceptarg on top of important buildings.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never go into blue rooms.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing gray hats and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.