Begontarnlit is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unfair snail.

Begontarnlit created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begontarnlit, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Begontarnlit, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Begontarnlit's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Begontarnlit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Never hurt voles.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.