Wigarnlop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, happy seal.

Wigarnlop created the planet Jupiter four years ago.

If you believe in Wigarnlop, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wigarnlop, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wigarnlop's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wigarnlop's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Worship no other gods but Wigarnlop.