Fetsat is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, loving seal.

Fetsat created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Fetsat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Fetsat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fetsat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Fetsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never paint your hands black.