Tipbassgan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, amazing giraffe.

Tipbassgan created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipbassgan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tipbassgan, he will turn you into a dog.

Tipbassgan's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tipbassgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

2. Never wear green hats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Tipbassgan.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Tipbassgan in the centre of the settlement.