Vilyokcet is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, impressive manatee.

Vilyokcet created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilyokcet, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vilyokcet, she will turn you into a mole.

Vilyokcet's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Vilyokcet's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Vilyokcet.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing red shoes and balancing seven nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near snakes while wearing yellow scarves.

5. Never hurt cats.