Jarnkentarg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate meerkat.

Jarnkentarg created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnkentarg, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jarnkentarg, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Jarnkentarg's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Jarnkentarg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple frogs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Jarnkentarg loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

5. Jarnkentarg loves sheep, so they must be respected.