Bitbapgep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, proud turtle.

Bitbapgep created time and space six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitbapgep, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bitbapgep, he will destroy your home planet.

Bitbapgep's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bitbapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never write about quantum gravity.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Bitbapgep on top of important buildings.