Tallimquam is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient horse.

Tallimquam created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tallimquam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tallimquam, he will turn you into a tree.

Tallimquam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tallimquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cucumbers to gulls while wearing red shoes.

2. You must never eat spinach.

3. Never wear white boots.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Feed all hungry grasshopers.