Narllitripcum is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, clever dragon.

Narllitripcum created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narllitripcum, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Narllitripcum, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Narllitripcum's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Narllitripcum's Holy Commandments

1. Put Narllitripcum first in all things.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Narllitripcum loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Narllitripcum in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about chromosomes.