Bifxinjin is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish dolphin.

Bifxinjin created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bifxinjin, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bifxinjin, she will turn you into a tree.

Bifxinjin's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bifxinjin's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bifxinjin.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about archaea.

5. Bifxinjin must be the most important thing in your life.