Xemlikont is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unthinking chicken.

Xemlikont created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemlikont, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Xemlikont, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xemlikont's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Xemlikont's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never run in holy places.