Dobkenpark Nurmiprig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered mole.

Dobkenpark Nurmiprig created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobkenpark Nurmiprig, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dobkenpark Nurmiprig, she will turn you into a rock.

Dobkenpark Nurmiprig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Dobkenpark Nurmiprig's Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help sick goats.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near squirrels while wearing green shorts.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dobkenpark Nurmiprig.