Hombepfod is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, conceited lobster.

Hombepfod created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hombepfod, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hombepfod, it will turn you into a duck.

Hombepfod's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Hombepfod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Retreat if nine seals approach from the west.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Never pour water over plants.