Hatsitvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, vain bee.

Hatsitvonk created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatsitvonk, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hatsitvonk, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Hatsitvonk's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hatsitvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never sing near tapirs.

5. Always help gulls in need.