Quimsugrag is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, almighty camel.

Quimsugrag created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimsugrag, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quimsugrag, she will be very unhappy.

Quimsugrag's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quimsugrag's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimsugrag.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mites.