Fagbunbig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, almighty narwhal.

Fagbunbig created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagbunbig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fagbunbig, it will refuse to believe in you.

Fagbunbig's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fagbunbig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fagbunbig.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Fagbunbig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.