Fabsabsit is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omnipotent clam.

Fabsabsit created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabsabsit, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fabsabsit, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fabsabsit's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fabsabsit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Fabsabsit on top of all buildings.

2. Always help seals in need.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not kill grasshopers.