Pomdut Lidbestnar is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody raccoon.

Pomdut Lidbestnar created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pomdut Lidbestnar, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pomdut Lidbestnar, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Pomdut Lidbestnar's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Pomdut Lidbestnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near badgers while wearing purple hats and balancing three zinc spheres on your hands.