Flowsandgam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, generous goblin.

Flowsandgam created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Flowsandgam, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flowsandgam, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flowsandgam's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Flowsandgam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange gulls, for they are unholy.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not wear yellow clothing.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.