Gartarstig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humane armadillo.

Gartarstig created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gartarstig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gartarstig, she will make you grow a tail.

Gartarstig's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Gartarstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Gartarstig first in all things.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to snails while wearing pink trousers.