Laghasyakvadbonk is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, humorless rat.

Laghasyakvadbonk created life four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghasyakvadbonk, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Laghasyakvadbonk, it will turn you into a slug.

Laghasyakvadbonk's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Laghasyakvadbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Laghasyakvadbonk.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Never write about dark energy.