Kinbogfom is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, tiresome aardvark.

Kinbogfom created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbogfom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kinbogfom, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kinbogfom's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Kinbogfom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry hamsters.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always help foxes.